indefinite thoughts and vast wishes

Jul 01
Permalink

Customer Service

  • Me: Hi, can I help you with something?
  • Woman: [mumbles through cookies and cream ice cream] I have an appointment at 2.
  • Me: Are you Clara?
  • Woman: Yeah.
  • Me: If you come back this way I can get your water started.
  • Woman: [following] I need some change for the parking meter.
  • Me: I can only give you a dollar's worth because the bank closes soon and the change we have has to last us until next week.
  • Woman: Well, that's par for the course.
  • Me: I can feed your meter if you'd like to get started.
  • Woman: No.
  • Me: ummm. Okay.
  • Fifteen Minutes Later
  • Woman: Never mind, I got a ticket.
  • Me: Oh, I'm sorry.
  • Woman: Here's your quarters back.
  • Me: Thanks.
  • Woman: WHERE'S MY DOLLAR?
  • Me: Oh, I'm so sorry, here.
  • Five Minutes Later
  • Woman: Aren't you going to CUT my nails?
  • Boss: I'm filing them because they're short, and if I cut them shorter the cuticle under the nail will puff out and make it hard to polish.
  • Woman: Every other pedicure I've ever had, they cut my nails.
  • Boss: [blithely continues without speaking]
  • Ten Minutes Later
  • Woman: What's the difference between a full pedicure and a mini pedi?
  • Me: Well, a mini pedi only takes half an hour but you don't get the foot scrub or the massage. Full pedicure takes an hour.
  • Woman: That wasn't even 60 minutes.
  • Me: Oh, I'm sorry.
  • 45 Seconds Later
  • Woman: [points to merchant slip on the desk next to a use gift card] Is that mine?
  • Me: No, but I can print you one if you'd like.
  • Woman: That wasn't what I was asking.
  • Me: Well, when the gift cards are empty we keep them because we re-use...
  • Woman: I wasn't asking to keep it!!
  • Me: Oh, I'm sorry.
  • Woman: [stares menacingly, then leaves]
  • Boss: What's her name?
  • Me: Clara.
  • Boss: [Abruptly leaves to chase after her.]
  • Me: [WTF?]
  • Boss: [Returns, red-faced and agitated] She's not coming back here again.
  • Me: WHA?
  • Boss: I told her never to come in my store again. She was extremely rude. I'm, like, shaking.
  • Me: Can I cry now?
  • Boss: Umm. I guess.
  • N.J.: That ghetto bitch.